Climbing Out of The Rut

Physical Therapy has now become Attitude Adjustment. Having completed my first week of torture/therapy, I find myself having a minor epiphany. (Would that be an epiphanette?) I went into my session yesterday feeling sorry for myself, and thinking that the therapists were all focused on contriving new devises of torture to inflict on my diseased, aching body. Somewhere along the line I began to realize that they were on my side. They were there to encourage me to take back my broken body and reclaim my life. aHa! Inspiration struck like a bolt of (albeit dull) lightening.

I began to see patterns and habits. My best female friend once summed this up quite well when she said, "I'm not just living in a rut, I've started decorating!" When faced with major obstacles or painful situations in the past, I've had a tendency to lock myself away; crawl back into my lion cave to lick my wounds. Eventually I would come roaring back out, but not until I had spent a considerable amount of time closed in and shut off from everything and everyone. One of the bright spots here is that I'm seeing myself bounce back out of that kind of thinking faster these days.

My mantra after my bypass surgery was "if not now, then when?" I used this phrase to take me from a broken body before to recreate a new and a wonder filled life. Now I see that I am set at the precipice of a new chapter of this life, and once again my body is betraying me, holding me back... but only if I let it. I can become the victor or the victim. It's my choice. I can wallow in the pain and frustration and let all our dreams and plans be swallowed up in the infinite vat of self pity or I can come roaring back out of my Leo cave and claim all the good that God has gifted me. With my armor of gratitude securely in place I step into my future.

Yes, therapy is painful, but I can do this. I can stretch those tender muscles and exercise those aching joints until I have achieved the ability to step out of my comfort zone. One foot in front of the other as I become the person that I need to be to fulfill my potential. As the Phoenix rises from the ashes, so shall I rise up and grab hold of the golden ring that is placed before me. I may scream, groan and complain, but I will overcome this obstacle and move forward to claim the prize. My new mantra comes from building on past victories. "I've done it before, I can do it again" as I climb out of the oh so familiar rut.

"Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength."   August Wilson

"For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds saith the Lord," Jer 30:17